The Kwerghny Brothers On-Line Newspaper

Kweerghny Brothers is pleased to announce the birth of Kenley Marie C. on February 4 + or minus 3. She is Aunt Janes first grandchild.

CEO Joseph is thinking of genetically engineering peach trees by taking a juice producing cell from a lemon tree and cutting out the lemon juice gene, and slotting it onto a plasmid (ring of DNA). Next it would be put in an Agrobacterium and it would multiply and discs would be cut out of a peach tree leaf and incubated in the genetically engineered Agrobacterium, and bumps called calluses would form and grow shoots. And then, the shoots would be placed into a shoot-inducing medium. Finally you have a tart peach tree.
The tart peaches could be used for cobblers, pies, crisps, and tarts, without any lemon juice needed.

CEO Joseph has planned on making a calcium rich lemonade that is good for people's bones and will make their bones stronger.  If you are a parent whose kids won't drink milk and always pig out, you should get it for them because it is fortified with calcium in the form of calcium citrate, which is one of the most absorbable forms of calcium by the bones. And your kids who pig out will drink that lemonade and then their bones will be strong. There is also reduced acid lemonade with more calcium in the form of calcium carbonate that becomes calcium citrate neutralizing some of the acid in the lemon juice so that the kids bones will get even healthier. He will sell both products to the grocery store.

Our CEO Joseph has a design in mind for the back cover of the upcoming movie that will be called Density Intensity. Since CEO Joseph is going to be the star of the movie, the picture will feature him with clenched fist. In the back ground will be a building. In the movie he will be able to alter the molecular density of his body so that he can smash buildings with his bare fist. It was inspired by a video game called Punch-out!! Don't get the wrong idea, molecular density is not the same as density. Density is the mass per unit volume but molecular density is the number of molecules per unit volume.

The Kwerghny Brothers will soon be making a movie called Density Intensity. It is about a new super hero named Density Intensity. There is also a gang of super villians led by a mad scientist named Dr. Titan. The gang will cause real trouble for the whole US. Density learns to use his super powers and trains his friends at school in the use of super powers to fight the evil gang. The hero Density Intensity will be played by our own CEO Joseph.

On another note, Aunt Jane is not being fired, but CEO Joseph is going to hire more employees because he doesn't want to put all of his eggs in one basket by having Aunt Jane as the only employee. That way if one employee fails to do their work, Kwerghny Brothers can still make money.

We are pleased to announce that our CEO Joseph has a new kitten with grey eyes named Athena.

CEO Joseph announced today that Aunt Jane has won the 2008-2009 Employee of the Year End Award. The reason that she won is because CEO Joseph is so forgiving and because her mistakes weren't bad enough to fire her. If she does as much effort as she can, she will win the 2009-2010 Award. CEO Joseph urges her to seek around for discoveries of how Kwerghny Brothers can make money. We need the money because making a movie is very very expensive.

Sheldon Robert Highwood's son Sheldon Andrew Highwood, in the upcoming Kwerghny Brother's movie called Rodeo Bull will be played by our own CEO Joseph. We still need an actress to play the part of Theresa Highwood. Does anyone have a suggestion?
Aunt Jane thinks the part of Theresa should be played by CEO Joseph's cousin Clairey who is both beautiful and friendly. You should see her in her bikini! Vah vah vah voom!